


Drunkards Dancing

by tobiohshit



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Keith can dance, Klance gets drunk, Lance is basically mr trustfund kid, M/M, Shiro is filled with regret, also i forgot how comms work so thats a thing, kinda expressing my strange love of tbt music oops??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-24
Updated: 2016-10-24
Packaged: 2018-08-24 11:22:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8370322
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobiohshit/pseuds/tobiohshit
Summary: The paladins get a day off courtesy of Coran, Shiro goes off with Allura and they do their thang, which leaves the rest of the paladins to their own devices.What could go wrong?   (Uhm, Everything?)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Im not gonna lie, I forgot how comms work but bc this is a fic based on Earth, theyre basically walkie talkies with screens I guess. (Id say phone but nunna that fancy textin shit)
> 
> Anyways, I wrote this months ago and kept adding to it over time so I do apologise if I missed a bit when proof reading, try n ignore the bad punctuation as well my keyboard is spazzing alot lately !! rip keyboard

Finally, a day off.

The five paladins all slumped out of their bed at one in the afternoon, and headed straight to the kitchens. Hunk had gotten there first as per usual, and was making everyone a few bowls of his 'gourmet space shit', the name courtesy of Lance (of course). Today was the day where all of the boys and Pidge and Allura were allowed to do 'whatever they wanted' - quoted straight from Coran.

The group had been lectured by Shiro and Allura about keeping their communicator on at all times, make the most of the day as they won't have time off anytime soon, not to do anything stupid, to let them know where they go and what happens. After they had finished, everyone broke off into different groups. Shiro went away with Allura, and Pidge, Hunk, Keith and Lance decided to stick together, as atleast one of them were undoubtedly about to get themselves lost in the shabby part of town. It was late already, about quarter to 5, and they were all excited to get out and do some shit.

-

Fast forward to a quarter of an hour before they wanted to leave, Keith lying on the bed, phone in hand, Lance pacing back and forth in front of the wardrobe.

"Are you quite comfy there? I'm so glad!" Lance gritted out, exaggerating too much with his hands. After recieving no reply he slapped the phone out of his hands and hauled him to his feet, "Pick out a fucking outfit for me Keith before I combust please!" He screeched right in to Keith's ear, which he clearly appreciated.

After throwing a random top and jeans on the bed he went to inspect his phone and straight up walked out the room, leaving Lance baffled that he could pick something out so fast and pissed that he'll be downstairs first. After throwing the shirt and trousers on at record speed he grabbed his wallet and keys and flung himself down the stairs so he didn't recieve Shiro's 'being late can cause so many problems Lance!' lecture, which he can probably recite perfectly by now.

They all piled in to the car and Keith instantly put on the mixtape he got from Lance at Christmas. They all refused to accept it, but all of them were suckers for throwback songs, including Shiro and eventually Allura. Lance hit the nail right on the head with the Fifth Harmony songs and Mcfly also riddled into the massive amount of songs on the CD, which caused Keith to instantly call Lance his favourite of the paladins.

-

There was a collection of gasps echoing throughout the car when the first notes of the song began. All of them took their boyband stancss, Hunk reluctantly still holding the steering wheel, when he should have his hands on his hands.

_"The club is aLIIIIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUUUSIIIIIC"_ Keith had started off with a screech, then the rest in the car followed. By the time Lance had sang, _"You can be the DJ.."_ Keith started blushing as he noticed Lance staring straight at him. Pidge noticed Keith's face and instantly slammed the skip button. 

Pidge and Lance's eyes went to Keith at the sound of the first few lyrics, and everyone in the car joined in the harmony of _"I get around"_ then the Beach Boy karaoke began. Keith with the high notes and the rest on the chorus and clapping with Hunk on the other verses. By the time they had reached the parking lot the song had ended and they all laughed and got out the car. Keith went to pay for the ticket and Lance followed him to the dispenser.

"They're totally gay, how much can I bet you?" Pidge said to Hunk while leaning on the car, in which He replied with "I know what you're like with betting so none, I'll decline that offer thank you bery much." Pidge huffed but let it go as the boys were coming back, ticket in Keith's hand.

-

"I'm going to go into this store for a minute, do you guys mind going in?" Pidge spoke up after a few minutes or so, standing infront of an extremely high tech looking shops window. Hunk looked excited and nodded his head eagerly, but Lance deadpanned and sighed loudly, crossing his arms. Keith was, Keith-like. Looking bored and kind of like he was ready to castrate Lance if he breathed anywhere near him, as per usual. Pidge noticed the look on Lance's face, and narrowed their eyes at him. "Fine then, shittyboy, go do your stupid garbage with Keith and I'll stick with Hunk for the next few hours, if you're going to react like this each time we go into a shop." They turned on their heel with a wave and walked through the door, Hunk waving at them and following.

Well then. The plan of staying together clearly worked wonders.

Lance turned round to Keith and grinned deviously, grabbing onto Keith's wrist.

Oh no. _Oh hell no._

Keith knew that look, he fucking knew it too well. Lance never makes the dreaded face unless he's up to something and damn did Keith not want to know what he was going to do.

-

Allura and Shiro walked through the busy streets of Roseburgh hand in hand. Both of them were looking around curiously at the new part of the city they had yet to discover. Allura had left her comm in the house, so it was Shiro who heard a crackle from his. 

_Uh, Shiro, I wanted to tell you I sent Lance and Keith away by themselves an hour or so ago, so they aren't my responsibility anymore.'_

Shiro groaned and tried to not imagine what shambles they were going to get themselves into.

_'Really Pidge? Can you go meet up with them again please? Or I'll make you pay the bail if they're jailed.'_

He shook his head and took Allura's hand again and led them to the pier. It's quiet uptown, and as it was 7pm at night, the majority of the city had returned home for the night, and were getting ready for bed, or to hit the bars.

There was a muffled echo of groaning from two peoples comms, indicating that Keith and Lance had forgotten to put theirs on to neutral mode, which turns off the microphone but keeps it on the line, which is what the team usually uses when they're around the castle just incase anything happens. The quiet talking that had been happening for the last hour and a half must've just been Keith and Lance talking quietly. There was more loud muffled talking, and everyone was silent trying to hear it.

_'Really Lance? Go suck a dick, I'm not going to buy that horrendous thing! I'd rather die than have a blue one!'_

_'Wow Keith, you're damaging my last centimetre of heterosexuality that I have, please! Spare me!'_

_'Lance, this isn't some Shakespear play shit.'_

Hunk was shaking with laughter already, and you could hear Shiro stifling a laugh behind his hand.

_'Why even go to the Pizzaria later when I can eat you out instead?'_

_'Jesus FUCKING Christ Lance we are in a fucking build-a-bear because you are a rich motherfucker with 184 close relatives that have their own business' and have the brain of an eight year old and you are talking about sucking my dick infront of a child that just wants to shove stuffing and love hearts inside a £50 corpse of a pink bear!'_ Keith had lowered his voice to a hiss, and it was only just able to be heard over the sound of Pidge snorting quietly.

' _Oh god please don't cut of my balls babe'_ Lance bit back, but he sounded mischievous. _'Without them I can't do this!"_

There was a gasp then a loud thwack and a yelp of surprise from Lance's end. The rest of the three paladins and Allura jumped in surprise at the sound, as it had been right beside the microphone, and his comm was usually in the back pocket of Lances jeans.

_'Don't crumple up the bears birth certificate, Jesus! and wow, I never knew you were into that kind o-'_

 _'Shut the fuck up or I will end you, Lance. I swear to god I'm going to end myself aswell by the end the night so I'm going to need some alcohol in me to put up with this shit.'_

Lance made an, 'UEEEEH?' sound, and then shouted out, _'HEY! KEITH DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME! COME BACK!'_

Pidge and Hunk were cackling loudly, and there was a crackle near the mic and a loud laugh that could've only come from Keith, a sound that baffled everyone except Lance into silence. _'I hate to fucking break it to you but we've had our comms on talkative for the past hour and a half you hooverhead.'_

There was more manoeuvring when the sound of Lance taking his comm out his pocket. _'Fuck!'_ there was an audible click of his comm and silence followed his exit.

_'Lance what kind of fucking attention span do you have we aren't supposed to turn ou-'_ another click and it was quiet except from Pidge still laughing hard.

Shiro looked as if he was going to burst every blood vessel in his body, with Allura desperately trying to stop her boyfriend from dying from a cardiac arrest. _'Shit guys I think Shiro's going to have a heart attack any minute now, goodnight!'_ Allura said into the comm and starting to shake with laughter at the sight of Shiro's twitching eye.

-

It had been a couple hours since the incedent of Keith and Lance realising their communicators weren't on neutral, and they had already bought and chugged a few bottles of Buckfast each. When they entered the off license, they made sure to turn their comms completely off so they wouldn't get heard buying bottles over the counter. Pidge had found a way to turn them back on just by logging into their communicators and changing the settings around and disconnected it to the main controls to put their own in, but both the boys were oblivious to it. They had even turned up the sensitivity of the mic, so whenever Lance and Keith talked, even quietly, it could be heard by everyone. Keith and Lance were headed downtown to the arcades now, and were ready to hammer eachother at whatever games they could. 

"C'mon Keith! Let's fucking go!" Lance almost screamed, pushing through the hushed, but busy streets of the city centre. There were people bustling around everywhere, most of them going out clubbing with their group of friends. Someone walked past and grabbed Keith's ass, and he tried to get them to take it away. They seemed overly persistent, but after getting their hand swiped away and watching Lance put his hands down to Keith's crotch, they took their hands away and sped off down the street without another word to him. 

"Lance, if I get a boner in the middle of the streets of Roseburgh I will Rose-bury you underneath that homeless man outside the McDonalds we just walked past." Lance only smirked in return and went to grab Keith's hand, but moved it past and back onto his crotch. There was a sharp intake of breath and a glare sent forward into the crowds. 

"It looks like you'll have to bury me then." Lance whispered into Keith's ear, and grabbed his hand and pushed himself through the acrade door. 

-

_'It looks like you'll have to bury me then'_

Pidge had made sure Keith and Lance couldn't hear them talking, but were able to chat to one another, much alike a private chat.

There was a small moment of silence, then;

_'HOLY SHIT GUYS I KNEW KEITH WAS A BOTTOM'_ Pidge all but screamed into their comm, while Shiro made a strangled noise of embarrassment.

_'Damn, Lance gave Keith a hard on in the middle of a street? okay, but recap, Lance called him babe.'_

Pidge must've inhaled enough air to last for a week when they gasped, _'Then bought some form of alcohol! OH MY GOD GUYS!'_ Noone really understood why Pidge was ready to piss in their seat, but kept listening anyways. _'THERE IS A LARGE CHANCE THEY'RE GOING TO FUCK AND WE'RE GOING TO HEAR IT OH LORD NO._ '

 _'Wait, WHAT?'_ Shiro yelped into his Comm, almost falling off the bench he was sitting on. _'Can't you just turn it off?'_

_'Ahahah, well uhm.'_ Pidge then fell silent and Hunk shrieked after a few moments. _'YOU CAN'T TURN IT OFF? NO. PLEASE BE JOKING._ '

Pidge, was not, in fact joking.

_'I unlinked their comms from my computer and the main computer too. And because it was off when I changed the settings to on, they'll have to press the on button for it to turn off. I also may have fucked up all our comms and they won't turn off haha so I guess I'll get going now!'_

_'Pidge. Get the fuck back onto the line.'_ Shiro growled, and Pidge sat back down at her desk, as they returned home half an hour ago. You should never fuck with an angry Shiro, especially when he swears. _'What convinced you to do this, Pidge.'_ he said, utterly calm.

 _'Well, I wanted to see if they were dating or not and I tuned in to hear if they were going on a date I'm sorry!_ '

Shiro heaved a heavy sigh. This is going to be a long night.

-

Keith was pulled over to the bright flashing screen in the middle of the arcade. There was a small crowd gathered there, watching a pair dancing on it. They were out of sync, and the black haired man was laughing too hard he couldn't concentrate, but the brown haired boy on the left kept on dancing and moving his hips about to the rhythm. The song was almost at its end, when Lance leaned over to him. 

"Winner out of three gets to pick a piercing for the other and themself." He smirked, and without waiting for Keith's answer stepped onto the machine, as the two boys had joined the crowd once they had finished. Pushing in the coins, Lance turned to beckon Keith over to him. He looked overly cocky, and Keith couldn't wait to prove that his agility and flexibility was a great contribution to his dancing skills, and the shitty dancing Lance sees that he does to his noughties playlist while making breakfast is infact only terrible because he would rather have made good space shit than bad space shit for breakfast just because of his dancing.

This was clearly a shitty cheap version of Dance Dance Revolution, because where the arrows usually were had little shapes laid down instead. He put his comm down on the ledge protruding from the machine, with the screen facing him incase he didn't hear the rest of the paladins calling on him. Little did he know, Pidge had hacked the cameras too, and the video flashed up on everyones comms when it detected movement.

"You can pick all the songs then, pretty boy. As I'm going to win anyway, even though I can't dance, I'm better than you."

Bless, Keith thought, as there was a huge range of category options, and you didn't have to pick the same old shitty songs from 800BC. He smirked when he saw Survivor show up after scrolling through the 2000s category. He pressed play and Lance looked confused at the name of the song choice. There was a laugh when his boyfriends face lit up in recognition after hearing the first few chords. 

Keith's feet moved lightning fast and in time with the music, and Lance looked baffled and screwed up his moves for a while as he was trying to process that his boyfriend could actually dance. The best part? Keith singing along. Or his hips. Probably his hips.

The game was a mix of DDR and Just Dance, and there was a little man on the screen that had more moves than just feet that would give you extra points if you nailed them. Keith obviously nailed them, like the little shit he is.

-

The paladins that had returned home a few minutes ago were watching intently on the large screen in the main room.

Allura was moving her head along to the song and Hunk was singing loudly while making them a large bowl of space popcorn. Hunk never used to sing infront of anyone, but after catching Shiro belting out the lyrics to Britney Spears perfectly while he was training by himself he joined in, and they have jam sessions with eachother when them and the rest of the paladins are in the showers.

-

Who knew Keith could dance like a Kpop star? Definitely not Lance, or anyone else except from Shiro, who had seen him hammered multiple times. 

Clearly whoever designed this dance routine did not understand that people in 2001, especially Destiny's child, did not know of tutting. There was a giant mess of every dance move you could think about, but Keith made it flow. There was a crowd gathered now, and phones were recording them both, Keith mostly, as Lance was flailing hopelessly. Lance almost choked to death when he saw Keith do a body roll while on one knee, breathing fast and sweating a bit already, looking at the score on the screen. He had stripped off his cherry red bomber jacket ('its not just any kind of red, it cherry red Keith! and that cherry red hurts my eyes! You're trying to kill me! Then I guess I'll be cherry dead!' - quoted from the only person that felt that was necessary) just then, for he felt like he would hyperventilate and die.

"You thought I couldn't fucking dance, baby? I just beat you by ten thousand points and we aren't even on our second dance yet." He smirked at Lances flustered expression and pressed onto a new category. He scrolled past the shitty songs, like that one damned horrendous Desiigner song that shouldnt have ever been on the charts for more than an hour. Tapping onto the song, he stepped back as the timer ticked down from 10. Fifth harmony started blasting through the speakers and Keith cringed at the thought of what he would have to do next.

"Boss? Really? Why not something hard? This will be a piece of space cake, moterfucker!"

Still catching his breath back, Keith realised he knew this songs dance off by heart, and Lance certainly did not. Keith was ready for the wrath of his leg muscles aching in the morning, as the foot pattern was usually always to the trumpet or clapping parts. Lance was already tripping over his feet the majority of the time.

He had to slut drop whenever Michelle O-fucking-bama was mentioned, which strained his legs, and he was ready to go home and sleep for a week. He hit the high notes, and stood in the stereotypical hand in the air shabang, and the women on the screen made him shake his ass excessively. He was howling with laughter after seeing Lance slide while the woman span on her heels, and he tried to copy her. 

-

"When you told me Keith could dance last year Shiro, I didn't think that you actually, literally, genuinely, truthfully, 100 percentedly meant it" Pidge said, staring at Keith's disgustingly sweaty face, slightly impressed he had kept it a secret for more than two years.

"Do I look like someone who would lie about something unimportant? Also percentedly isn't a word, Pidge." Shiro replied, raising an eyebrow and looking at them from underneath his lashes.

"No, Dad. And yes it is i'll fight you." They replied, huffing and pushing themselves further into the settee, which had blankets and pillows strewn over it, along with everyone's tired bodies, from walking so much today. Shiro scoffed and placed his head atop Allura's, which was laid down on his shoulder. 

-

He picked the last song carefully, wanting to get as many points as possible, just to rule out every (small) possibility of Lance winning. He grinned as wide as ever as the sound of Beyonce's blessed voice reached his ears.

Repeatedly stamping his foot down to left just because she repeats the 'to the left' excessively is a little bit too much effort for him, but it'll be worth it for the reward, seeing Lance with piercings. There were people whooping and screaming all around them, and it spurred Keith to put in more effort as he knew this dance had very pg 13 dance moves in it. 

It's time to fuck Lance up.

-

"DISHIN' THAT SHIT OUT LIKE A FUCKIN' RESTURAUNT!" Shiro all but screamed at the Tv.

"C'MON KEITH! YA SWEATY SCENE KID!" Coran was yelling at him. Noone felt like asking if he actually knew what being scene was, but if it fit Keith, not any of them cared.

Each person in the room was destroying their vocal chords for Keith to keep going. The mice sat, making loud noises of acknowledgement at the screen. Allura was chanting 'Let's go right guy! Let's go! Let's go right guy! Let's go!' along with the crowd. 

-

Lance had stopped halfway through the dance and had a pained expression on his face, forehead pressed against the screen, eyes locked onto Keith's body. His eyes almost popped out of their sockets when he dropped onto one knee and looked straight into Lance's eyes, smirking while he put both hands on his right hip and swivelled back into a standing position to finish the last verse. With his arms crossed over his chest he finished, head tilted up. As soon as the music ceased he almost toppled over with laughter at the priceless look on Lances face.

"Why baby, you know Beyonce fucks me up, why must you have done that." He said after he had recovered and tied Keith's jacket around his waist, sleeves hanging over his likely hard-on.

"You said I could pick the song, and I'm sure Pidge and the rest of our friends could prove that fact, because they've been watching this whole thing." Keith said, staring straight into the camera lens. He then flipped the switch on the comm to ON, as he hoped that was the way to turn it off.

"I also won by 45 thousand points, so, lets get going." He added with a sly grin.

He then grabbed Lance's hand and dragged them out through the crowd. People were yelling and cheering at him, telling him he was a great dancer. Some of the more entoxicated tried to convince him to be escorted to their homes, but he just apologised and clung to Lance's hand like a life support. 

After getting out safely, Keith led Lance down to the place where he got his first piercing done. Lance sighed in his direction and asked quietly, "What did you want me to get then?" Keith smiled at him, a genuine one, and replied with "A standard oral." 

He had made sure to use the techy term, as if he straight out told Lance he was making him get a tounge piercing, he would've flipped his shit. Atleast Lance had no experience in piercings, for if he had won the bet and had any kind of knowledge for them he would've been forced into getting a reverse Prince Albert or something equally rediculous. For himself he was getting an auricle, because he had a standard lobe piercing done when he was in his emo phase a couple of years ago, when they had only just found Allura, and he just wanted to make it seem less Scene Kid™.

"Wait doesn't oral mean mouth." Lance said suspiciously, folding his arms while they were stopped at a crossing. Keith sarcastically gave an 'encouraging' smile and a thumbs up in his direction. Before he had time to protest Keith had speed walked across the road with the rest of the crowd.

-

"How did he even know?" Hunk said, eyeing up Shiro suspiciously when he shuffled his two cards excessively.

It was an hour or so after Keith had turned off his comm properly, and everyone sat in a circle. Hunk had suggested they play card games, and Allura had insisted on playing scabby Queen,

"Who knows?" Pidge spoke back, "there shouldn't have been any tell tale signs? Would there?" Allura took put her head in her hands and sighed.

"A video of the person watching them shows up on their screen." she muttered quietly, a groan emmiting from the man beside her when Pidge took his ace and put their new pair down in the pile.

"Let's just assume he didn't realise until he went to pick his comm up and leave it at that." Shiro said, pushing himself of the sofa. He slapped down the Queen he was left with on the table and ran a hand through his tied up hair, which had grown significantly longer as time went by. He gave Allura a quick kiss on the cheek and ruffled Hunk's hair, "G'night guys."

Allura stood up and brushed herself off, "I guess I should get to bed now as well, sleep well!" She kissed the remaining paladins on the forehead and made her way out of the room, throwing a wink in their direction.

"Eurgh, they're gonna do it for the second time today?" Pidge made a face and shuffled the cards again.

"Again?" Hunk questioned, brows pulled downwards. Pidge paused and looked him straight in the eyes, expressionless. His face instantly paled and turned to one of horror. 

"I-I uh, have to go do something I'll be back in five!" He then ran out faster than Pidge had ever seen him run before, headed in the direction of the bathrooms.

-

Lance looked as uncomfortable as ever, as he sat with his tounge out, with it held still with a strange metal tool. Keith remembered when he got his tounge pierced, and he swore that he had tore a hole in the fake leather armrest of the piercing chair. Lance had grabbed onto his hand and was ready to rip his limb off, and the needle hadn't even pierced through his tounge fully yet.

"Sit still or get a giant hole ripped in your tounge." The piercer, Matt, sounded bored, and Lance's eyes widened and he looked over at Keith, who just shrugged. Lance winced when the needle was jabbed into his tounge, then the metal rammed in afterwards. He sat down on Keith's chair afterwards, playing with it carefully between his teeth.

Matt grimaced when he heard what Keith wanted done to him, and hesitantly asked if he was sure about it. "It damn well hurts, mate, but if you really want it?" Keith nodded slightly, and he got brought over to pick what he wanted it to look like. After picking a stud with a small link connector for when he wanted a chain to connect to his lobe, he sat back down on the chair. He did the same with him as he did with Lance, which was offering him a small painkiller and a sip of water while he cleaned out his gun. He talked to Lance and Keith about the hygiene of their piercings for quarter of an hour, and gave them the necessities for cleaning them out with although he damn well knew Keith had almost twice as many piercings than King Henry VIII had wives.

Keith was sat down in the recliner, and contorted his face into one of pain when the gun rammed itself through his ear, ripping through tendons and skin easily. He sucked in a breath when his piercer scrunched his face up. Noticing his expression, he told Keith; "I always hate doing these, the face wasn't meaning anything bad, I swear. And if you tell a soul about me giving you the medication, Ill rip each piercing out of your bodies one by one. Now get the fuck out of here before I get arrested!" Keith and Lance both ran out of the building after Matt threatened to shove the gun up their asses when they asked for another one each, jokingly if course, because Lance was going to die if he was anywhere near that sweaty parlour any longer. 

Keith quickly dialed up a taxi number, and they waited patiently on the pavement, while Lance lit up a cigarette he had pulled out from his pocket. The taxis in this place were horrendous, and always took excessively slow journeys when they came to pick them up, so they didn't mind sitting down on the cold pavement instead of their legs giving out on them after two minutes. After their taxi had arrived Keith stubbed the cigarette on the tarmac and stood up, offering Lance a hand up.

As Lance could hardly speak coherent words, Keith, being the Good Boyfriend™ he is, told the driver where they were headed. At the mention of their house the driver turned around, and her eyes lit up at the sight of them sprawled over her backseat.

"Keith! I haven't seen you in so long! How's everything goin'!" Shay exclaimed holding up a hand for Keith to high-five enthusiastically. "Booze in the boot to the left, my friend." Ah yes, nothing has changed at all. Shay, the only taxi driver that keeps booze in the boot of their car. He gladly accepted though, and picked up the bottle of Morgan's and spun the cap. The house was a good 20 minute drive away, and this was a perfect amount of catch up time. He passed the bottle between him and Lance, taking small swigs  during the conversation. Lance realised they had left their build a bear in the off licence. They had spent 40 quid on that, and now some shitty 50 year old Father is going to take it home to his kids as a 'brand new gift' for Christmas this year.

By the time they had arrived home, both boys were thoroughly entoxicated, and Keith was talking and laughing loud, cheeks tinted red. There was a heated debate about food inside of the car, and as they exited it the volume increased. They stumbled their way through the front door at 2am, shouting and screaming at eachother about pasta.

"Macaroni is a type of pasta! Not just a meal!" Keith yelled at him when he took off his shoes.

Lance screamed, genuinley screamed, in frustration. Pidge and Hunk had sprinted down the hallways, as they thought someone was being murdered.

"It's a FUCKING MEAL KEITH! MACARONI IS NOT A TYPE OF PASTA! IT IS CALLED A PASTA TUBE!"

"THAT'S CANNELONI YOU SHITLORD!" Shiro and Allura had ran downstairs shortly after Pidge and Hunk, both of their hair sweaty birds nests and clothes looking equally disheveled. The boys were rolling around on the floor, Lance still trying to prove his point, which was incredibly incorrect. Macaroni is indeed the name of a pasta, and a meal infact. But Pidge wasn't going to point this out, as they found the situatuon at hand rather amusing.

They only stopped yelling at eachother when Lance grabbed onto Keith's newly pierced ear. He had frozen when he felt the hand against it, threatening to tug at it.

"Babe, no. This is unreasonable. Please don't touch the ear." Lance, obviously, continued to touch the ear. Pidge had decided this was time to start recording this, because shit was gojng to go down.

"Make me."

Hell. Fuckin'. Yeah.

Pidge has been waiting for this shit for years. This is when they make out and everyone cheers and they come out and tell them they're a couple and people give others money from their bets. Isn't that what happens in every fanfiction they read about on them? They suppose it should happen, as they have no other choice than to slam their faces together, for they will find a way to get them to do it anyways. 

Ah yes. They called it.

Keith smashed his face onto Lance's and began heavily making out with him. There were infact cheers, but no betting money and coming out yet. The snogging lasted for all but a few seconds, as Keith had something between his teeth and Lance froze, much alike Keith earlier. Hunk looked intrigued at why Lance had stopped completely, and noticed a tiny glint of silver metal that did not belong to Keith's own piercing. He gave it a tiny tug and Lance was howling in pain, obviously over exaggerating.

"It didn't hurt that fucking much you erectile disfunction, I'm going to bed." He kissed him and shoved himself off of him, "and no, you can sleep in your own bed tonight, macaroni isn't just a meal." (a quiet 'thank you for realising the obvious' was heard to Shiro's left)

"Hey! I'll have you know my penis works entirely well! You of all people should have knowledge of that!" Lance shrieked, sprinting after him. "Fuck you!" The group in the hall heard a thud and it fell silent. What they didn't pick up on was the "Do it for me." Keith added to the end of his boyfriend's sentence, so they all returned to thier rooms upstairs, as Keith had his room situated in a 'summerhouse' which was really just a small house connected to the main one by a hallway. They also didn't hear what happened afterwards, which was a benefit to both parties. 

Keith has no objections to the new tounge piercing.

**Author's Note:**

> (ps. 'you erectile disfunction!' is now my go-to insult)


End file.
